Presence of Shame
by Delvinress
Summary: Seifer's back but has brought some well-packed emotional baggage with him. What will happen when decides to unpack? This is my first ficcie so I would really appreciate reviews! HEADS UP: This is a shounen ai story. Maybe a lil lemon later, but just angst


1 Presence of Shame  
  
By: Delvinress  
  
DISCLAIMER: Unless I become the CEO of Squaresoft, all the FF8 stuff ain't mine .*grumble grumble* I'm warning you, there's going to be some definite angst in this story, just read on to find out. Thanks!  
  
"A bet's a bet, Seify baby!"  
  
"NO!!!" The half naked Adonis exclaimed. He shot the bouncing hot dog hunter a gaze that could probably stop the next Lunar Cry in mid-space. "And stop calling me that, Chicken wuss!"  
  
"I'm NOT a chicken wuss!!!" Zell retorted as he began to shake his fists in Seifer's face.  
  
'Works every time,' Seifer thought as his predatory gaze shifted to the mirrored closet door on the opposite side of the room. There he saw a perfect view of the cute little bubble butt that also shook with its owner's movements.  
  
"See! You can't stop looking at it. I know that you know that we both know that you wanna wear it!" Zell said as he turned and pointed to the clothing that hung from a hook that was on the immediate left of the mirror.  
  
"In what language was that supposed to make sense? Matron would roll in her grave if she heard you talking like that," Seifer replied sarcastically. 'That would shut up the chicken.' Zell always became quiet after Matron was mentioned; it seemed that he suffered the most after Matron was killed a little over two years ago in a terrible train crash. Unfortunately Slimy Cid, as Seifer liked to call him, survived with minor injuries. It only took Cid 11 months to begin shacking up with Xu and Nida on a regular basis. 'So much for mourning,' Seifer thought.  
  
Zell's whimpering broke Seifer out of his remembering of the past. Seifer then remembered that his witchy ex, also known as the Ice Bitch's idiot lay, had been killed also. Selphie was the only other person he knew that was involved in the crash and she luckily escapes with negligible wounds. Seifer also remembered one of his earlier nicknames for Zell. 'Oh Hyne, there goes Crybaby Zell again. I've already got a headache from his chatter. Please don't cry, please don't cry, please don't…'  
  
"WAAAAAAA!!!" Waterworks commence.  
  
'Greaaaaaaat.'  
  
  
  
Seifer had quickly suited up in an attempt to assuage Zell's sobbing fit. Thankfully Zell's tears of sadness soon become those of mirth and his sob-wracked body began to convulse with laughter as he rolled all over Seifer's carpeted floor.  
  
'How the hell did I get into this?' If someone had told the former Sorceress's Knight six months ago that he would be here in this situation now he probably would have send him/her off with a curt 'Fuck you' and a swift kick to the ass. Well, minus the ass kicking in fear of getting kicked out of the only place he even knew as home, and they would laugh at him if he said it, so no 'fuck you' either.  
  
Regardless, he was here. And who is to blame for it all? Selphie. After Rinoa kicked the bucket Selphie had been more than happy to track down Seifer and inform him of the Commander's poor, depressed, vulnerable state. Seifer was not sure why she did not like Rinoa; something about Rinoa saying the Garden Festivals sucked because a crack baby ran them or something. Anyway, how Selphie knew Seifer had been harboring a hidden love for Squall is still a mystery. What Seifer found more amazing was that Selphie had enough energy to find him in the first place; she had spend two months combing the planet for him all while nursing the wounds she received from the train crash. She had found him covered in bite marks and scars in a shack in the middle of Lollapalooza Plains. Seifer chuckled as he remembered Selphie, with her left arm in a cast and her jaw wired shut, trying to convince Seifer to return to the Garden all while flailing her one good arm around like she was in tip-top shape.  
  
Unfortunately Squall was not as receptive as Selphie was to Seifer's return. It took 6 months just to get Squall to have a normal conversation with him, let alone spend any time with him. Seifer had bided his time by training and passing the SeeD test and becoming an administrative assistant as a way to get closer to Squall. Actually, it was the only job he could obtain at the Garden. He was not trustworthy enough in their eyes to do field work, and it was feared that he would corrupt the youth if he taught. However, the job did help in his Squall endeavor; Seifer believed these past two months that his hard work had paid off, and he had some chance with the newly thawed Squall Leonhart, until yesterday afternoon.  
  
Since Squall initially would not spar, Seifer turned to Zell as a sparring partner. Although Seifer preferred the gunblade he saw Zell as an opportunity to hone his hand-to-hand combat skills. Well, that and the fact that there were only about three other people could and would spar with him, but Seifer could not and would not dwell on that among other things. It was not hard to convince Zell, really. A little teasing here, a couple of hotdog stolen there, and Zell was ready to beat the living shit out of Seifer several times over. Since then he and Seifer sparred on a regular basis. The win rate for both was about equal with Zell's record a smidgen higher than Seifer's. He knew that Zell could whoop his ass even more, but the chocobo-haired boy either was going easy on him or was distracted by some unknown thing. Yesterday Zell decided to make things interesting and up the ante by betting he would win the spar. What was the wager? The ridiculous outfit Seifer now donned. And he had been so close, too! Seifer had given Zell a couple of good jabs to the ribs that left Zell winded. He was pulling his arm back for the final blow when he spotted a leather-clad leg in his peripheral vision. Distracted, he wheeled around, very aware of the leg's owner. About 10-15 feet away Seifer saw Squall and someone else, who was covered by foliage, attempting to sneak out of the training area's back room. That someone emerged and was a very flushed Quistis Trepe. Seifer noticed a slight twinge graced Squall's ivory cheek's, too, and an even darker mark on his neck. The last thing Seifer remembered seeing before Zell knocked him unconscious was the knowing yet apologetic face of Squall.  
  
  
  
"OK, you big lug, time to get the wig and make up on!" Zell gleefully chirped as he opened his closet door and bent down to rummage through his closet all while giving Seifer another peek at his bum.  
  
"WHAT?!?! There was NO wig and make up mentioned when we made this bet!"  
  
"I said that the loser would have to dress up and look like a pretty little…"  
  
"FINE," Seifer growled as he caught a sealed bag that had the words, 'Blondie Hollywood Starlet Wig' printed on it. "Um, Zell, why do you have a whole box of make up?"  
  
"I, uh, duh, well," Zell stammered with said box in his hands before Seifer burst into laughter.  
  
"Chicken wuss goes drag? HAHAHAHA!! Don't have any frocks into there, do ya, Chickie? Hahahaha…huh? What's this?" 'This' was a pair of blood red leather bondage pants that Squall would definitely envy. They looked even tighter than Squall's! Seifer looked from the pants, to Zell, to the open box of make up that contained mainly dark hues, and then back the beet-red Zell.  
  
"Get out of my stuff!" Zell shouted at Seifer as he tried to wrench the pants out of his hands. By that time Seifer was near drooling at the very thought of Zell in those sinfully tight pants. "Um, Seifer? Can I have my pants back, please? And will you stop staring at my ass? You aren't being subtle anymore."  
  
'Anymore?! He knew the entire time?!' Seifer's mind screamed. 'He didn't say anything? Why?'  
  
"Oh please, Seifer, you're not the first guy to think I'm cute. Not exactly my cup of tea, but who am I to judge? Who you wanna fuck ain't my business so long as it ain't me," Zell said coolly as he placed the pants back in the closet.  
  
'He knows. He just told me he knows I was attracted to him and basically told me to fuck off," Seifer thought incredulously. Shame, that's all he could feel now. Shame, mixed with pity, from Squall's rejection of him, and now from Zell's nonchalant 'fuck you.' And Seifer, who remembered all the shame he felt beaten into him by strangers for his crimes, knew of only one way out: RUN.  
  
Seifer bolted out of the room and was already half way down the dorm hall by the time Zell could say anything else. 'Oh shit, this isn't good, why'd he hafta be so….OH SHIT!' Zell realized exactly what Seifer was wearing upon his departure. The bet was to be fulfilled under the cover of darkness and in the absence of students.  
  
"What the?! Is that Seifer?"  
  
"Holy shit, it is! I can't believe it, he's…"  
  
"O-M-H[AN: ditzy girls around here say 'OMG' instead of 'oh my god.' I just substituted in 'Hyne']! That's the cutest Sailor Moon costume I've ever seen!!!"  
  
Seifer heard the students' reactions but paid them no heed. He only concentrated on one thing: RUN. And run he did, past a shocked student body and dumbfounded faculty, straight into the wilderness where he bore no shame.  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
  
Author's Notes:  
  
Okee dokee, this is my first fanfic! I really would appreciate some reviews. I plan on making this a multi-part story, so don't worry bout Seifer ;). Anyway, reviews very much appreciated!! 


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